i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just want nice things and good sex
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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