think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
