Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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