I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
