She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
