As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
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I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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