this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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