We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
