Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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