Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
