so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
