If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
