Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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