He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
