I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
