i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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