I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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