I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
