He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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