I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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