Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
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WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
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when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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