One girl and one boy is just not enough.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
