I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
