Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
