You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So. Much. Porn.
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