Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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