i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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