This is not my ceiling
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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