ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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