they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
