I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
