and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
