Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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