I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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