forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
