I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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