He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
