HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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