Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
