that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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