We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
