had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
