they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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