Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
