I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Damn victory sex feels great
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
