he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
