her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize