rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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