i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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