Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize