There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.