So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.