The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
