so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize