bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
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The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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