How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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