I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Me too!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
