My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
