She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
