He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
