i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize