He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug