I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
