I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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