honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
