WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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