I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
