the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
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