Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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