I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
