playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
