My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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