You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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