There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
